We all had a dream of what life would be like once we had our children, but few of us are living it. Reality happens and, sometimes, it is far from what we had envisioned. It doesn’t have to be that way. We can do better. Whether we have a tantruming toddler, a school-aged child not wanting to go to school, or a teenager that’s checking out more and more, there are so many resources available to us that can REALLY create the change we want to see; but WE have to seek them out, do the work, and BE the change!
When things get as bad as they can with our children, many of us still hope we can drop them off at the therapist’s office and pick them up fixed. It doesn’t work that way. Here are some neuroscientific facts: Our children are only going to do well when they feel good, and they are only going to feel good when WE do. And I’m not talking about feeling good from the miniature “vacations” we take on a friday night. However we escape – and believe me, I know how great it can feel at the time! – it is a brief bandaid that does nothing to transform our nervous system into feeling good in the long-term. We can feel good no matter what is going on around us or with our children, and when we do, they get better! Fast! You will begin to see changes in them immediately when you utilize very specific kinds of tools and resources for yourself.
STEP ONE: Learn what these tools and resources are. Here’s how: 1. Read my blogs. They’re free. Go into the archives. There are many that detail what to do and how to do it. If you haven’t signed up to receive notification of them yet. Please do by entering your name, email address, city, and state on my website’s homepage. 2. Watch my youtube videos. They’re free. And there are many! They are informative so that you can understand yourself and your children better. That is an intervention. When we understand better, we have more compassion (for ourselves and them), and compassion is a huge part of the cure. 3. Read my articles at ezine.com. They’re free. 4. Start with reading You Can Heal Your Child (available at my website). It’s only 15 dollars and is full of what you can be doing differently to help your children feel better. 5. Use my activities book with your children and do it right along with them! It’s called Hope & Healing: An Activities Book for Adults Working with School-Aged Children (available at my website). It’s only 15 dollars and full of what you can all be doing to feel relief, comfort, and joy no matter what life is throwing at you. 6. COME TO ONE OF MY TALKS! I am giving a FREE parenting talk open to the public in Long Beach, CA on April 21st from 9:30 to 11:30 at my son’s school. No matter where you live in southern California, it will be so worth the drive to come and stock up on the tools and resources that will change your life and the life of your children, many of which are free. I will give you a powerful experience of one during the talk. Visit the “Events” page of drmelrose.com to see where else I will be speaking soon.
STEP TWO: Begin putting the tools and resources you learn about into practice a little bit each day. You don’t need a therapist or a lot of time to start transforming your nervous system in a way that will transform your children’s nervous system. You will ALL be feeling a greater state of ease if you, parents, start doing the work. Take five minutes at the beginning and end of each day – steal one-minute intervals throughout the day – to notice your feet on the ground, to breathe deeply in through your nose filling your belly with air, to take in the support that is right there with you that you are not paying attention to, to visualize the change you want to see or the place you want to be. If you don’t yet believe in the difference these tools can make, you have some catching up to do: on what we now know are the most powerful ways to change our lives and the well-being of our children – quickly. Start doing your work, parents, please! And start living your dream. It’s waiting for you.